As a former Writer and Associate Producer of KING-TV’s “Almost Live!” (from 1985-88), the new exhibit at Seattle’s Museum of History and Industry (MOHAI) is sure to be a fun, nostalgic, and in my case, personal trip down memory lane.
I was lucky enough to get a gig on the show around 1985-86 by submitting and selling a few bit ideas that I had co-written with my friend Pat Robinson. We sold one about a TV remote control that worked on people for $50, and I volunteered to help with productions on shoots, which got me in the door and friendly with the crew. Soon after, I was hired full-time at $130/week as a Writer — the same week that Bill Nye and Joe Guppy started. (I had to keep working nights, though, where I was a phone salesman under the pseudonym “Duke Brooks” for Fishing & Hunting News). I won six Northwest Emmy Awards for my three seasons of work on the show, including that first bit, “Assignment Danger: Total Control,” which beat Pat Cashman’s classic “Sluggy” as well as Keister’s “Lifestyles of the Almost Rich & Famous” for the “Soft Feature or Series” Northwest Emmy (“Sluggy” was much funnier and should’ve won but our bit did because of DP Mike Boydstun’s genius shooting/editing skills).
During my time at the show, I was lucky to work with some incredibly funny people like Ross Shafer (no relation), John Keister, Pat Cashman, Head Writer Jim Sharp, DP/Editor Boydstun, DP Darrell Suto, Producers Dana Dwinell and Bill Stainton, Joe Guppy, Bill Nye, and many others. We tapped into the northwest’s quirks and anxieties during a time of rapid change. While I was there, Microsoft was booming, Starbucks was expanding, Ballard was still funny, the bus tunnel was being built in torn-up downtown Seattle, and we were there to poke fun at it all. The exhibit highlights the show’s impact on Seattle’s cultural landscape, featuring clips and props that demonstrate its sometimes goofy, sometimes searing brand of local humor.
Associate Producer Anecdotes
Need Some Chickens: One anecdote from around circa 1986-87 I have still fills me with deep, fowl guilt. As Associate Producer, part of my job was to procure props, and on one bit I wrote called “You work an Amish day, you get an Amish deal” (a parody of a local Safeway ad that used the tagline “You work an honest day, you get an honest deal“), I had to get a few real, dead chickens for actors playing Amish people to use as currency to “pay” for their groceries. I found a chicken processing plant in Seattle, and a contact there said I could come get some chickens in exchange for a thanks in the credits. Little did I know, the three or four chickens he presented were all very much still alive. The manager guy was kind enough to casually show me how to kill one by quickly breaking its neck (ugh). He scoffed and I felt like a wuss when, after trying to get out of it all somehow, I held my breath and finally did the deed to the remaining two live ones he gave me. I am still haunted by that event, and sometimes hear random, frightening clucking sounds of the chicken ghosts still trapped in the trunk of my car.
Sylvester’s “Thingy”: On another episode, I was tasked with picking up and driving a very special guest to the KING studios: Sylvester the Mummy (a scary/fun childhood icon to me) from Ye Olde Curiosity Shop. I drove a white KING van down to the waterfront location, where the owners and some of his family awaited to help load the legendary dead guy into the van. It was around sunset, at the “golden hour” that we carefully wheeled him out in his glass case to gently lift place him in the back of the van. The mom and daughter were helping to lift the bottom part of the case into the van as the low sun shined, when one of them said “Look! There’s his thingy!” The other peeked up the dead guy’s kilt and confirmed that the mummy’s privates were still intact. We all looked and laughed, and on the lonely drive to the studio I caught the unmistakable scent of “death” from being so close to Sylvester (meaning: he’s real. And dead.)
“Almost Live!” was a dream come true, despite not paying much. I dove into it, learned a lot, and was around a lot of very funny, talented people. It was probably the best, most fun job of my life, even at $130/week. I am surprised at the enduring popularity of the show, with thousands of sketches available on YouTube and a dedicated fanbase still quoting bits decades later. I thought everyone had just forgotten about it by now. It’s amazing to see how the show has lived on. I think it speaks to how well we captured a specific moment in Seattle’s history.
Ross Shafer interviews Adam West and Burt Ward during the Batman Reunion episode of Fox’ “The Late Show” on April 28, 1988.
A Gig in Hollywood?!
In April, 1988, Ross got an offer to come down to the new Fox Broadcasting Company in Los Angeles to take over Joan Rivers’ old “Late Show.” Joan left, and after her replacement Arsenio Hall also exited, Ross aced an audition and got the host gig. He was able to bring myself and Jim Sharp with him, and within a few days, we went from working at KING to doing a nightly late night show in a multi-million dollar studio in a cool office that had a view of the “HOLLYWOOD” sign. We most certainly brought along our best “Almost Live!” bits, which we repurposed for the show. Despite feeling bad leaving the show behind without its host/head writer, I must admit that I think “Almost Live!” actually got much better when it was changed to a 30-minute show and the desk/band/interview show format was axed. Keister hosting and tossing to taped bits was a much tighter, funnier show than what we did.
From left to right: Me (still rockng my rookie cop mustache), Joe Guppy and Bill Nye. We often shouted “SUCCESS!” in unison.
After doing much freelance work (“Penn & Teller: Bullsh*t!” and many others) in 2007 I started The B-Town Blog as a hobby, and have worked as a local journalist ever since. Now we publish eight “hyperlocal” news websites for our company South King Media. The MOHAI exhibit runs through the fall, with related events planned throughout its duration.
https://mohai.org/exhibits/almost-live-almost-an-exhibit/
Links:
Some of my “acting” appearances (can you find me? HINT: I had much more hair!):
- The Guppy File: Slow People
- Practical jokes on Ross Shafer (aka “You guys!”)
- “Hoop Head“
- “Plumber”
- “Ballard Vice”:
Related Bits:
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- Music video for “Inhale Einstein,” a song I helped conceive with Joe Guppy’s Acoustinauts band, circa 1987.
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- Some “Word on the Street” bits I Produced/Directed/Wrote/Voiced with the awesome writing team from Fox’s “The Late Show starring Ross Shafer,” circa 1988:
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- The Maury Island Incident film I Directed (2013)